Dear MB
I am worried. I had expected you to be flying high since you’ve got your Ph.D. You must have your reasons to be lying low, Why not give it a try? Avenues are wide open; get in touch with your University again and ask them to sponsor you… Chinese pilgrims in Nepal during the 5th and 6th Centuries. Ask Beijing University for support, and ask Oxford or Cambridge.
Aasish
Zimmdar, U.S.A.
By Dr. Mulibir Rai United Kingdom
Dear Dewa,
Sewaro,
“No expression of gratitude can truly capture the essence of your heartfelt suggestions and blessings, encouraging me to rise and shine. I had aspirations and plans before completing my PhD, envisioning a path ahead. However, when the time arrived, different thoughts and purposes took precedence. The trajectory of our lives seemed to roll in my direction as I stepped towards the destination designed and valued by society.
I find myself still yearning for more: more money, bigger accolades, name, and fame, readily discarding saintly dogmas. I’ve witnessed individuals unable to sustain their Vairagya, returning to worldly life after a brief stint as ascetics. Yet, I am certain that success and achievement cannot deliver permanent peace. I have achieved what I aimed for in life: becoming a Lahure, settling my parents’ educational debts – done. Longing for a daughter over a son – done. In my military career, not aspiring for high promotion but at least achieving SNCO – done. Buying a house in the UK – done. Attaining the highest academic credential and being recognized as a Dr – done. After all this, I wished for a modest job to earn a living and pay my bills, and that is precisely where I am now – working as a part-time Apprentice Progress Reviewer and lecturer of Digital Media at Swindon College. When other lecturers discuss literature, maths, and physics, a longing to teach those shiny subjects creeps in! When I started my PhD, I quietly promised not to expand my desire further!
A myriad of thoughts wrestles in my mind – applying for a fellow research, writing a book, making a feature-length film, starting an e-business, launching a Vlog to cover unique subjects, touring Nepal, contributing to the Kirati people – the list goes on. Reflecting on your continuous effort in unveiling Kirat’s history through your books is genuinely appreciated. Your powerful writing style has been an inspiration. However, I sincerely believe that your works have yet to make a significant impact on educating our society; perhaps reaching out is a gradual process.
I sense a genuine need for profound studies on Kirati. Despite its unilateral establishment as Kirati Dharma (religion), there is minimal literature in Kirati texts, at least to me, to fulfil the fundamental requirements for people to follow. This could be a reason why Kiratis are divided, often in an acrimonious manner. The denial of Swami Prapannacharya (Kale Rai) and his magnum opuses by most Kiratis is unfortunate. Kiratis might have acknowledged Swami Ji had the floodgate of cultural identity so called ‘Pahichaan’ not been opened, particularly post-Nepalese civil war. I don’t deny the progressive politico-social phenomena, but it’s clear that Nepalese people weren’t ready yet to accept such a significant change. I’m contemplating contextualizing this with Socrates’ perspective on democracy in the future – ignorant democracy vs informed autocracy.
At times, I reflect on the potential outcomes of all my efforts. Even if I acquire name and fame, I question its true significance. Recently, I delved into Mariah Carey’s autobiography, where she eloquently recounts her childhood odyssey and successes in her singing career. She describes the feeling of her fourteen-million-dollar house resembling a dungeon when her marriage fell apart. A similar sentiment is echoed by Sadhguru Jaggi Basudev, who remarks, ‘One’s ornate six-storey building can only be of assistance to take life jumping from the top floor if one is inwardly unsettled.’ (paraphrased).
My underlying question is whether, in the pursuit of achievement and success, I am navigating through a mirage to reach the other side. Knowing all this, albeit superficially, I grapple with finding a thread to turn within completely. My mind doesn’t settle in one place. I dedicate at least 2, if not 3 – 4, hours to meditation every day. Meditating feels like combating swarms of hornets. Some members of our meditation group have progressed significantly, as we witness their serene and divine behaviours. Despite having less than half of what I possess, they exude contentment. However, I still waver amidst worldly choices, unsure of the path to choose.
Finally, I hope you wouldn’t mind that I attempted to convey; perhaps justify why I find myself in a state of incognito in a rigmarole way.
Sewaro and Sewaro to Badi and Didi too
