Dr. Mulibir Rai, UK
“…A water-like drop fell and settled in the womb…I remember my birth. I was almost discarded as I was born as a daughter, not a son. Until the age of five, I was completely in Samadhi. Wherever I wanted to go, I could simply fly and get to the destination through my subtle body. I could see the moon and stars just a foot above me. My eyes always remained half-opened. But my parents thought I was dead … at the age of eleven, I had a temptation to swim in the Marsyandi river for no reason. As I did, both the river and I vanished. After hours, I found myself on the riverbank where people were making a commotion thinking that I had drowned… I have meditated in the forest for almost 17 years… A freshly uprooted flower came and talked to me while I was in meditation…bears, snakes and other animals in the forest became my friends.” I have read such things in books. Saints and sages experience such phenomena. At that moment, I was listening to a lady, called Juna Thapa from Nepal on YouTube.
While answering the question, a monumental statement follows… “God? There is no god..these are just idols.” The lady in white Saree sitting next to various God’s idols answers questions asked by Rajan Many Paudyal, a spiritual seeker from Dibyaputi TV. Her eyes remained closed most of the time. She is known as the revered Maa Ji. Maa generally refers to a female Swami. I instantly made up my mind to see Maa Ji during my visit to Nepal, which I was making shortly.
It hasn’t been long since some spiritual quests began to grow within me. I’ve been trying hard to find the answers; from practising Vipassana meditation to Bramhakumari to Manav dharma to Patanjali Yoga to Siddha Baba’s Mahayog, along with the study of several texts and spiritual literature and watching YouTube videos endlessly. It has been quite a tedious journey that I’ve made over the last decades, though one that I consider would be light footwork were it to be taken by a fervent spiritual seeker.
However, through my accrued experiences, I now feel I have the capacity to, at the very least determine between those who say the phrase ‘there is no God. I place the people into two categories – one who has seen/experienced everything within, and the other, who has seen nothing within. In other words, one who has attained liberation Mukti and the other ignorant. I could not wait to meet the revered Maa Ji and uncover to which category she truly belonged. As soon as I landed in Kathmandu in July 2022, I headed to Maa Ji’s Ashram in Taudaha with Pratik, one of my nephews.
Upon our arrival at the Ashram, I asked Maa Jee a barrage of questions. Her eyes remained closed most of the time; calm, composed, and serene while answering my questions. I was fascinated by further stories of her spiritual experiences, those she had not mentioned in the interview. The stories answered some profound questions of mine, such as how the Sages wrote the calendar thousands of years ago simply by observing within, what the Buddha must have experienced when he attained realisation on the full moon of Vaisakh 2600 years ago and whether Sage Kapila must have had a similar experience a century earlier than the Buddha. Afterall, their experience must have been the same if everything was one; or Aham Brahmasmi or Shivo Ham and this is exactly what Adweta (nondualism) suggests.
I found valuable knowledge in Maa Ji’s experiences of visiting ethereal planes through astral travel. These ethereal realms she described were the same as those described by Sri M and Paramahamsa Yogananda in their autobiographies. She has sketched her every experience in a notebook hoping that one day they would help spiritual aspirants on their journey to spirituality. It was fascinating to hear the experience of when all seven Chakras opened up, particularly the Saharshrara (crown) Chakra. “When the Crown Chakara opened”, She said, “The sound of the explosion was inexplicable – deafening but not explosive”. I theorised that the sound may be what scientists suggested when the big bang happened during the universe’s creation. Beyond the Kundalini awakening. She has the experience of being just a dot, as tiny as an atom and travelling into the ocean of darkness which I suppose, could be the black hole. I genuinely believe that there is a tremendous possibility that the astral phenomena that Maa Ji has experienced could help scientists explore further discoveries.
She talked of continuously hearing thousands of different sounds, including ‘Oum’ and on one occasion, she mentions that she was lifted by the vibration of the sound ‘Oum’. Given these experiences, including the visualisation of hundreds of her past lives like Gautama had just before realisation, I firmly arrived at the conclusion that she had attained enlightenment. Ever since, I have surrendered myself to her. I was further convinced having learnt that though she lost everything in her business it brought her joy. Almost all of the items were stolen from her grocery shop yet she further distributed the remaining items to people for she saw herself in everybody. She saw no customer to sell it to; there was no ‘You’ and ‘I’, only ‘I’ or ‘One’.
MEDITATION WITH AN ENLIGHTENED SOUL
I always dreamed of what it would be like to sit next to a Buddha. How would it be, to have a one-to-one conversation with such a soul? I have visited several ashrams and met a number of Gurus. I have even received initiation (Dikshya) from them. But the thirst to meet one who I would consider a fully enlightened being remained somewhat unfulfilled until I found Maa Ji.
After visiting Maa Ji in Kathmandu, I wished she resided in the UK; lo and behold; she came to the UK to visit her daughters and their families in London. I instantly begged her to come to my home in Swindon and guide me to meditate for a week. She kindly accepted my invitation. The following week when I arrived at Maa Ji’s daughter’s house in Watford and pressed the doorbell, it was Maa Ji herself who opened the door for me. I sincerely bowed down and touched her feet with my forehead in utmost respect and veneration.
“Come in. Come…come. Have something to eat before we leave”. There was no question against it, for I took her every word as that of Buddha’s. Her son-in-law, Prakash, brought a tray full of fresh fruits, we talked about western philosophy and spiritualism as we ate. By the time I finished my fruits Maa Ji was also ready to leave.
“Does a woman of around 60 and of a fair complexion live in your house?” asked Maa Ji as we drove off.
“No Maa Jyu, there is no one in my house as such, but one of our relatives lives in a nearby town. I haven’t met her, but my wife Tika visits her occasionally.” I replied.
She closed her eyes for about 10 seconds and said, “No, no. Your relative has a round face and is taller and darker than the other.
As I contemplated over the woman she described earlier while behind the wheel, she said, “Sometimes my astral body visits the place ahead of my visit. This happens particularly when I plan to go to the forest to meditate for months. My astral body visits the caves and chooses a suitable place.” Her story sounded convincing which further confused me as to who the woman she mentioned was; there were no such women in my house. A cloud of doubt formed in my mind. I questioned whether her visions were but hallucinations, though I dared not express it to her. This remained a mystery until the 6th day of our self-Vipassana meditation retreat.
Upon arrival at my home in Swindon, my wife Tika welcomed her by offering a Khada and requested her to light a candle at the door. As we learnt that Maa Ji had long been practising no-meal-in-the-evening we sat down to listen to Ma Ji’s amazing experiences of her spiritual journey. Her personal life stories were as profound and soul-searching as her spiritual accounts. Her odyssey from domestic helper to a spiritual master would make a compendious volume were it to be written down. Almost midnight passed in a flash and we ended the evening with some satsangs by Maa Ji.
On the following morning, the meditation began in a wooden shed in the back of our garden dedicated to Pooja and meditation. Since my house dwells in a cul-de-sac, we find the place relatively silent for meditation. The occasional birds fluttering and insects humming in the garden add to the ambience. As Maa Ji suggested, I tried to focus on Nắda (the sound of silence); while doing so I allowed myself to shift to the breathing that I had learnt at Bipasana during the times I got tired of focusing on Nắda. Three sessions of three-hour meditation each day gave me a lot of insight into how my mind drifted from one subject to another. Although I have learnt meditation from Vipassana, Brahmakumari and some other Gurus and have been practising it for some years, I found clarity in the presence of an enlightened body, one that I have not been able to find on my own. From the third day, Maa Ji observed silence for three days. I too kept answering the phone and accessing emails to a minimum.
At my request, Maa Ji ended her silence in the early morning of the sixth day by uttering a three-word letter – ‘Oum Maa Ji’ which I had engraved on Maa Ji’s mug. After ending the silence she said, “Sit down I have very important things to tell you.” I was both excited and nervous about what Maa Ji would say to me.
She clarified, “Firstly, the woman whom my subtle body visited in this home before we came was your mother.” It never occurred to me that the woman Maa Ji mentioned could have been my mother who had died twenty years prior. Given the description mentioned by Maa Ji, it perfectly matched her. She added, “Her soul is very pure and divine”. A flashback of my mother bowing down to the kerosene lamp after kindling it every evening struck me as she spoke. That was the only daily spiritual practice that my family members had, the grace of which must have fallen upon me and as a result led my soul to pursue the ultimate truth. I solemnly bowed down to my late mother and Maa Ji. She proceeded further to announce, “It will be very difficult for you to progress in your spiritual journey… all four of your doors: eyes, ears, nostrils and mouth are closed. But they can be opened by practising more Sadhana. ..” As she continued, there was one more bad news for me, “A white coin shaped object came out of my mouth and travelled into yours. As it travelled, one became three. They tried to enter you through your mouth but your throat was closed. The three objects encircled your wide-opened mouth for a while and returned to mine. As they did, they merged into one again”.
On the one hand, I was despondent that my efforts in progressing on my spiritual journey had been futile; on the other, I was glad at least to have found a fully enlightened soul to guide me through my impediments. In the afternoon, we had a conference video call with some of Maa Ji’s devotees. Particularly Akhil Swami Ji in Nepal and Rajesh Swami Ji in Australia, who prefers to be called Swambhu. Both aspirants have made significant progress on their spiritual journey. Akhil Swami Ji, who renounced everything including properties in the U.S.A. has already attained a great deal of Siddhis. Rajesh Swami Ji who practised tantras, Reiki healing and had even been a mendicant Yogi leading an itinerant life in India for some years, regularly guided me with some meditation techniques. I mentioned to both of them what Maa Ji had told me in the morning. All they could do was wish me good luck.
We had one more day to meditate before we ended our self-retreat Vipassana session. I could feel the energy emanating from Maa Ji more intensely than in the beginning. The throbbing on my forehead was more significant and captivating. Though Maa Ji had handed me a stark and dispassionate verdict that I needed more Saadhana to open those closed doors, I found sitting beside her extremely beneficial. I could watch my thoughts frolicking, drifting and shifting more mindfully and keep it under control. Although I’m nowhere near self-realisation yet, being a pseudo spiritualist and practising meditation for at least an hour or two a day for some years has given me a new life. In the same vein, I have one final statement to make: I might be an adversary to many, but by no means are they mine for I know I am just a guest on this earth.
Revered Maa Ji and I formally ended the seven-day self-retreat Bipasana meditation with the chanting of
Oṃ sarve bhavantu sukhinaḥ
sarve santu nirāmayāḥ
sarve bhadrāṇi paśyantu mā kaścidduḥ khabhāgbhaveta।
oṃ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ॥
